day thirtyfour

dear god

thank you for today. thank you for a date with colton. thank you for the money to buy lots of healthy groceries. thank you that the people at trader joes know me and could recognize that i had more food and wanted to engage with me and talk about foster care. thank you that the checker could encourage me. it was an unlikely place to get encouragement. thank you for a great group at church and for laughs and fellowship and how we can challenge and encourage eachother. thank you that kristen was able to watch the kids and that she was so great at playing with them.

i ask that you would bless frank and ezekiel in a million different way. i pray that they would know you and love you.

i pray that you would do something mighty and powerful in the foster care system.

i pray that you would help my friends have your power, i pray that they would have the power to understand how good, and powerful, and forgiving and in control and loving you are. i feel like that would help all of us live happier, healthier lives. but i also feel like i would resist that sometimes honestly in favor of feeling ugly or gross. help us to resist that temptation.

i know i failed in so many ways today. i know when i was scolding colton i was thinking "god is not happy about this" and then i felt like "oh well i survived getting yelled at so he can be fine too". but that was ugly and wrong of me. i feel like i fail in so many ways. help me to be a better wife, mom, friend, and employee.

i ask that you help us all to sleep great so we can have a lot of fun together tomorrow.

amen...