day thirtyeight

dear god

thank you for today. thank you that my upset tummy didn't affect me being able to play with and watch the kids. thank you for magical bubbles and the fun we had with them all day. thank you for the sunshine and warmth. thank you that colton and ty are learning to love eachother. thank you for food, water, clean clothes, warm shelter and friends and family. please help us to learn how you want us to share all of the good gifts you've given us.

thank you that our neighbors and landlord have been so gracious and forgiving about the window colton broke. help us to show them your love in return.

i pray that you will make it so that frank and ezekiel grow up to love you and know you well. i thank you that their aunt is taking great care of them.

i pray that  you would give all of my friends all of the good things they desire. and please make their roads as pain free as possible. we know so many special people who love us and i just feel like they all deserve good things. i know technically none of us deserve good things but in as much as you can do and still accomplish your purposes for their lives that would be super.

i pray that you would comfort the quisenberry's after the loss of the baby they were planning to adopt.

i pray that you be with the oslunds after their fire.

i pray that you would forgive me for all of the ways i blew it today. i know there were many. please forgive me and help me make better choices tomorrow. help me not to feel so stubborn when i'm feeling nasty and i think "god wouldn't like this" and do it anyways.

help sean to make it home safely after school and thank you for as hard as he is working for us.

please help us all to sleep great and have a great day tomorrow.

amen...

day thirtyseven

oh man i think i'm under a lot of stress. seems like a lot of days recently i've been having a very upset stomach with anything i eat and last night was one of those nights. :/

day thirtysix

dear god

thank you for today. thank you for the boys and that katie was able to come by and support me as a foster parent and a parent in general. thank you for giving me the energy to play with the boys. thank you that after my meeting with katie i had a new energy and perspective. thank you that i was able to have a lot of sweet moments with ty today to store up. thank you for a great dentist that cares so much for our kids. thank you for the fact that we have enough to share with people and still have more than enough. please show us how you want us to be generous and helpful in other ways.

i pray for frank and ezekiel and that they are doing well and learning to love you. i pray that some day we would be able to reconnect and see how they're doing. again thank you that katie was able to share with me more info that confirms that manisha was a danger to our family. please protect frank and ezekiel from her drama.

i thank you that you are working so powerfully in our friends lives. for the friends that are still waiting for something amazing to happen, i pray that you would give them the power to understand your love while they wait.

thank you that we were able to get pictures done with richelle last night. please help that to help ty feel a part of the family.

i pray for sean at work, that he would model integrity and work hard to bring you glory. thank you that he works so hard to provide for us.

please forgive me for all the times i failed today in so many ways. please help me to do better!

i ask that our sleep tonight would be extremely restorative and that we would wake up ready to have great attitudes and that we would be ready to be respectful, kind and ready to serve.

amen...

day thirtyfive

apparently i can't do anything for more than thirty days since i've forgotten so much!

day thirtyfour

dear god

thank you for today. thank you for a date with colton. thank you for the money to buy lots of healthy groceries. thank you that the people at trader joes know me and could recognize that i had more food and wanted to engage with me and talk about foster care. thank you that the checker could encourage me. it was an unlikely place to get encouragement. thank you for a great group at church and for laughs and fellowship and how we can challenge and encourage eachother. thank you that kristen was able to watch the kids and that she was so great at playing with them.

i ask that you would bless frank and ezekiel in a million different way. i pray that they would know you and love you.

i pray that you would do something mighty and powerful in the foster care system.

i pray that you would help my friends have your power, i pray that they would have the power to understand how good, and powerful, and forgiving and in control and loving you are. i feel like that would help all of us live happier, healthier lives. but i also feel like i would resist that sometimes honestly in favor of feeling ugly or gross. help us to resist that temptation.

i know i failed in so many ways today. i know when i was scolding colton i was thinking "god is not happy about this" and then i felt like "oh well i survived getting yelled at so he can be fine too". but that was ugly and wrong of me. i feel like i fail in so many ways. help me to be a better wife, mom, friend, and employee.

i ask that you help us all to sleep great so we can have a lot of fun together tomorrow.

amen...

day thirtythree

i just prayed from the floor of the boys room exhausted and didn't have it in me to get to the computer once they finally fell asleep. shame on me!

day thirtytwo

dear god

today i am worn. i am bummed about colton's attitude today. i am bummed that collante got removed from his home because he's been violent. i am bummed about manuel's problems in school and at home and all of the behavior issues that lily is dealing with. i pray for colette's kids that i love so much but are hard on their families. i pray for donna and jill and mr and mrs booth as i know they're heart broken after having to institutionalize collante. i pray that you would spare the others from the nature that they came from and help us to nurture them enough to make them well. i don't even really feel like praying 'cause i feel so down. but i know that you want to hear from us even when we're scared for the future, sad, and discouraged. i can't stop thinking about this song so this is what i have to give tonight....

I’m Tired I’m worn
My heart is heavy
From the work it takes to keep on breathing
I’ve made mistakes
I’ve let my hope fail
My soul feels crushed by the weight of this world
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn

I know I need to lift my eyes up
But im too weak
Life just won’t let up
And I know that you can give me rest
So I cry out with all that I have left

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause I’m worn
My prayers are wearing thin
And I’m worn
Even before the day begins
I’m worn
I’ve lost my will to fight
I’m worn
Heaven come and flood my eyes

Let me see redemption win
Let me know the struggle ends
That you can mend a heart that’s frail and torn
I wanna know a song can rise from the ashes of a broken life
And all that’s dead inside can be reborn
Cause all that’s dead inside will be reborn

that is all ...... amen.....